Spontaneity

A Key Ingredient to Meaningful Social Interaction with Your Neighbors

When was the last time you scheduled a dinner out with friends, an afternoon walk, or a zoom call days or weeks in advance only to find that when the appointment came, you were just not in the mood? Or the reverse—have you declined an invitation and then had your schedule open up and wished you had some company? 

Social interaction was not meant to be so scheduled, prescribed and budgeted. Social interaction should happen spontaneously more often than not. We enjoy the most spontaneity with those people to whom we are closest. I never schedule a time to talk to my mom on the phone, I just call her, and if she doesn’t answer or she’s busy, I might call my sister or think of something else to do. My husband and I don’t schedule evenings ahead of time deciding which nights we’ll read after the kids go to bed and which nights we’ll sit and talk about our days or work on a project together. We decide that evening. Sure, we schedule a date night once a month, or more realistically once a year, but our casual regular interactions are unplanned.

And so it could be with more of our relationships if only we lived a bit differently. If your best friend lives down the street, you can pop by her house on your way out for a walk or drop something off and stay to chat for a while. We can see when a neighbor is outside working in their garden and go say hi. If the neighbors are out barbecuing it’s easy to holler an invitation over the fence. In cohousing communities across the country, neighbors gather for meals, bike rides, music, conversation and games, and usually without an appointment. 

Have you always wanted to live next to your best friends and be able to live more spontaneously with them? Now is your chance—call them up and tell them about Bozeman Cohousing!

Post-Pandemic Hopes for Kids’ Unstructured Time

Another Reason Why Bozeman Cohousing Offers a Great Neighborhood to Raise Kids

Before the pandemic, one thing that most Americans did not have enough of was unstructured time. In the culture of “more is better,” we tend to over-schedule our children and ourselves. For children, there are so many amazing opportunities in Bozeman. Cross country ski lessons on weeknights and downhill lessons on the weekends. There are rock climbing classes, gymnastics, dance and swimming. There is pressure for music lessons and also for something “fun” like circus camp or pottery.

Of course our children love hanging out with their friends and the energetic teachers at these activities. The result, though, is that there aren’t many kids hanging out at the park after school. The sidewalks are mostly empty of bikes, scooters and tricycles. If you walk outside on a Saturday afternoon, most neighborhoods are quiet. Even parents who resist organized activities end up with a handful of classes for their children because where else are they going to find other children to play with?

Since the pandemic, many of us have more unstructured time than we know what to do with. The organized activities are cancelled. Kids are playing in their backyards and riding bikes. Sadly, many of them are doing it alone in order to maintain social distancing.

It need not always be this way, however. What if we don’t sign our kids up for so many activities? What if we send them outside to romp in the neighborhood like we did as children? As a kid, I knew where every other kid in my neighborhood lived. My siblings and I would do the rounds, ringing doorbells to find enough participants for capture the flag. Today, most of us aren’t comfortable with youngsters roaming even a few blocks from home. There are roads to cross and we don’t know many of our neighbors.

Post-pandemic, I look forward to a neighborhood where we regularly hear children playing, a neighborhood in which we know our neighbors’ kids, and the adults alike. 

Bozeman Cohousing is building an old-fashioned type of neighborhood where kids can roam, and with the added twist of a car-free interior so that parents can relax. In such a neighborhood, it won’t be long before kids are wanting to skip soccer practice so they can play soccer with their friends on the green. And instead of loading everyone up to drive to karate class and return to pick them up an hour later, parents can spend quality time with other adults in the neighborhood and playing with their kids.

Read more about Kids & Cohousing.

The Modern Cup of Sugar

“To borrow a cup of sugar” reminds us of our parents’ or grandparents’ days.  If they needed a cup of sugar, an egg, or an onion, they would just pop over to a neighbor’s house and ask.  There are some neighborhoods where this still happens, but too often nowadays we run to the store and buy whatever we need, without stopping to think that it’s not really the cup of sugar that we need.  It is that spontaneous social interaction with our neighbors that really matters. 

Although we don’t live next to each other yet, members of Bozeman Cohousing have been loaning, gifting, and sharing all sorts of items.  Not only has this saved us each money and saved many things from the landfill, but it’s brought us closer together.  Here’s our modern version of the cup of sugar: sampling of what Bozeman Cohousing members have given or loaned to each other over the last year.

We All Need a Village

It may take a village to raise a child, but we forget that adults also need a village and strong social network. Americans aren’t the only ones who have lost sight of this, but we certainly have become one of the leading cultures dealing with what is now commonly known as the “loneliness epidemic.” More people live alone than ever, and more couples and families have become insular instead of regularly folding their lives in with neighbors, relatives and friends. We are busy, we live further from extended family than we did a generation ago, and we can drive directly into a garage with little interaction outside of work and home. 

For many couples today, their sole support system is each other.  Without brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and mothers and fathers living nearby, partners become everything to each other.  There is so much riding on this one relationship that any added stress can send it spiraling towards separation or divorce. When couples and families turn inwards those without a domestic partner feel more alone than ever.

Imagine not hesitating to borrow an egg from a neighbor. Or having regular and meaningful interactions, taking a quick walk, or even harvesting food together with the many people you call neighbors. One of the hallmarks of cohousing—whether in Europe or the States—is the village of strong relationships and support. Bozeman Cohousing is gearing up to be multigenerational with 20-somethings through retirees, and single people, couples and families. We’re looking forward to creating the old-fashioned style neighborhood and village that not only knows how to raise a child, but also gives adults what they need to thrive!

Atrium

Have you heard we’re planning to have an atrium in our community building? What an amazing, warm, sunny space to enjoy during our long winters. Many members are excited about growing tropical plants: lemon and pomegranate trees anyone? These photos are from the Farm Bureau building in Bozeman. Can you find the kids hiding? Go for a visit to get a sense of the atrium idea. During the design workshop last weekend, we brainstormed some other creative and unconventional ideas many of which probably won’t make it in but are still fun to dream about. Some of our ideas included a slide from the 2nd floor down into the first floor, a rock climbing wall, a decorative fountain that doubles as a children’s water play area, a circular coat room, a roof-top deck, a craft nook with a sewing machine that slides out of the cabinet ready-to-go, secret hiding places, a stage in the dining room for music performances, a giant ball pit, and a sunny window seat for reading. What crazy ideas do you have?