Author: Kathleen Owkes

Another Reason Why Bozeman Cohousing Offers a Great Neighborhood to Raise Kids

Before the pandemic, one thing that most Americans did not have enough of was unstructured time. In the culture of “more is better,” we tend to over-schedule our children and ourselves. For children, there are so many amazing opportunities in Bozeman. Cross country ski lessons on weeknights and downhill lessons on the weekends. There are rock climbing classes, gymnastics, dance and swimming. There is pressure for music lessons and also for something “fun” like circus camp or pottery.

Of course our children love hanging out with their friends and the energetic teachers at these activities. The result, though, is that there aren’t many kids hanging out at the park after school. The sidewalks are mostly empty of bikes, scooters and tricycles. If you walk outside on a Saturday afternoon, most neighborhoods are quiet. Even parents who resist organized activities end up with a handful of classes for their children because where else are they going to find other children to play with?

Since the pandemic, many of us have more unstructured time than we know what to do with. The organized activities are cancelled. Kids are playing in their backyards and riding bikes. Sadly, many of them are doing it alone in order to maintain social distancing.

It need not always be this way, however. What if we don’t sign our kids up for so many activities? What if we send them outside to romp in the neighborhood like we did as children? As a kid, I knew where every other kid in my neighborhood lived. My siblings and I would do the rounds, ringing doorbells to find enough participants for capture the flag. Today, most of us aren’t comfortable with youngsters roaming even a few blocks from home. There are roads to cross and we don’t know many of our neighbors.

Post-pandemic, I look forward to a neighborhood where we regularly hear children playing, a neighborhood in which we know our neighbors’ kids, and the adults alike. 

Bozeman Cohousing is building an old-fashioned type of neighborhood where kids can roam, and with the added twist of a car-free interior so that parents can relax. In such a neighborhood, it won’t be long before kids are wanting to skip soccer practice so they can play soccer with their friends on the green. And instead of loading everyone up to drive to karate class and return to pick them up an hour later, parents can spend quality time with other adults in the neighborhood and playing with their kids.

Read more about Kids & Cohousing.

“To borrow a cup of sugar” reminds us of our parents’ or grandparents’ days.  If they needed a cup of sugar, an egg, or an onion, they would just pop over to a neighbor’s house and ask.  There are some neighborhoods where this still happens, but too often nowadays we run to the store and buy whatever we need, without stopping to think that it’s not really the cup of sugar that we need.  It is that spontaneous social interaction with our neighbors that really matters. 

Although we don’t live next to each other yet, members of Bozeman Cohousing have been loaning, gifting, and sharing all sorts of items.  Not only has this saved us each money and saved many things from the landfill, but it’s brought us closer together.  Here’s our modern version of the cup of sugar: sampling of what Bozeman Cohousing members have given or loaned to each other over the last year.

It may take a village to raise a child, but we forget that adults also need a village and strong social network. Americans aren’t the only ones who have lost sight of this, but we certainly have become one of the leading cultures dealing with what is now commonly known as the “loneliness epidemic.” More people live alone than ever, and more couples and families have become insular instead of regularly folding their lives in with neighbors, relatives and friends. We are busy, we live further from extended family than we did a generation ago, and we can drive directly into a garage with little interaction outside of work and home. 

For many couples today, their sole support system is each other.  Without brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and mothers and fathers living nearby, partners become everything to each other.  There is so much riding on this one relationship that any added stress can send it spiraling towards separation or divorce. When couples and families turn inwards those without a domestic partner feel more alone than ever.

Imagine not hesitating to borrow an egg from a neighbor. Or having regular and meaningful interactions, taking a quick walk, or even harvesting food together with the many people you call neighbors. One of the hallmarks of cohousing—whether in Europe or the States—is the village of strong relationships and support. Bozeman Cohousing is gearing up to be multigenerational with 20-somethings through retirees, and single people, couples and families. We’re looking forward to creating the old-fashioned style neighborhood and village that not only knows how to raise a child, but also gives adults what they need to thrive!